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‘I thought losing my virginity would be rape’: inside Christian purity guides

The youth movement that swept US churches in the 1990s also spawned many anti-dating books. Now, some writers are losing faith in ‘the Mike Pence rule’

Joshua Harris was just 22 in 1997 when he published I Kissed Dating Goodbye, a dating guidebook for young Christians that advised them to do anything but. Dating was a “training ground for divorce”, he argued in the book, which sold almost 1m copies worldwide. It also made Harris a superstar in the Christian purity movement, a pro-abstinence crusade that began in evangelical churches in the 1990s and became well-known in the purity ring-wearing hands of Jessica Simpson and the Jonas Brothers. Many authors came after Harris – John and Stasi Eldredge, Hayley DiMarco, Tim and Beverly LaHaye – all of them in the US, where religious publishing is worth $1.22bn (£1bn) a year.

Now 44, Harris made headlines this week when he revealed he no longer considers himself a Christian. He has been issuing apologies for his own books over the last decade, even making a documentary called I Survived Kissing Dating Goodbye. On his Instagram this week, he wrote: “I have lived in repentance for the past several years – repenting of my self-righteousness, my fear-based approach to life, the teaching of my books, my views of women in the church, and my approach to parenting to name a few.”

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Read more: theguardian.com

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Parenting

Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Education (Choosing NOT to Homeschool is OK!!)


Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Education (Choosing NOT to Homeschool is OK!!)

The Parenting Junkie and Shefali Tsabary discuss why it’s okay NOT to homeschool. Dr. Shefali Tsabary describes how you can still be a conscious parent even if you send your child to public school. Dr. Shefali reassures us that when it comes to homeschooling vs traditional schooling the biggest factor is the parent’s context. In this video you’ll hear Dr. Shefali on homeschooling vs traditional schooling. You’ll better understand how conscious parenting can fit within the current education system. Yes you can still be a conscious parent whether you are homeschooling, sending your child to public school, or trying to revamp the education system. You’ll also hear Dr. Shefali on the education system and Dr. Shefali on Homeschooling. Homeschooling vs public schooling can be a daunting decision for many conscious parents that’s why you’ll hear Dr. Shefali on homeschooling vs public schooling. At the end of the day you have to choose what is best for your family and your particular situation for more reassurance listen to Dr. Shefali on Public Schools. Hear Dr. Shefali on education and rest assured that context is what matters most.

1:01 – Feeling lesser than?
3:04 – Live in accordance with your desires
4:10 – Dr. Shefali’s take on the education system
7:26 – Change what you can
8:05 – Accept your reality
9:03 – Be grateful for what you have
10:14 – Detach from your child’s school

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RECOMMEND TO WATCH / LISTEN TO NEXT:
► Dr. Shefali on Conscious Parenting vs Traditional Parenting (https://youtu.be/IY8auVv0BdM)
► Dr. Shefali on Imperfect Moms (https://youtu.be/jnZgeP71uEM)
► Dr. Laura Markham on Peaceful Parenting (https://youtu.be/GawY309XCsA)
► 10 Parenting Practices to Stop (https://youtu.be/zjdkIeFxdRo)

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Parenting

The best mattresses you can buy online: Casper, Nectar, Leesa, and more

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BEST DEALS ON MATTRESSES THIS WEEK: 

Tuft & Needle Mint Mattress — Save $150

Zinus 10-inch Gel-Infused Memory Foam Mattresses — Save 11%

Lucid 10-inch Gel Memory Foam Mattresses — Save up to 37%

Leesa Hybrid Mattress — Save $255

tulo liv Mattress— Save up to 39% 

Sleep can make or break your day. If you wake up feeling energized and refreshed, concentrating and functioning will be a breeze. On the other hand, if you spend most of your nights tossing and turning, the whole day can feel like a challenge. You’ll be fatigued, irritable, and reaching for the nearest caffeine source. 

According to the Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, sleep deprivation might lead to serious health problems, including diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, and obesity. So it’s something to take seriously. If you need to improve your quality of sleep, it might be time for you to buy a new mattress.  Read more…

More about Home, Sleep, Mattress, Sleep Tech, and Mashable Shopping


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IMAGE: Casper

BEST OVERALL

The Essential Mattress by Casper

Comfort, durability, and stress-free setup make The Essential Mattress by Casper a top pick for all of your sleeping needs.

Dimensions: Twin (39 x 75 x 8.5 inches), Twin XL (39 x 80 x 8.5 inches), Full (54 x 75 x 8.5 inches), Queen ( 60 x 80 x 8.5 inches), King ( 76 x 80 x 8.5 inches), and California King (72 x 84 x 8.5 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for back, side, and stomach sleepers


$395 from Casper


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IMAGE: Tuft & Needle

BEST BANG FOR YOUR BUCK

T&N Mattress by Tuft & Needle

Online mattresses don’t come cheap, but the T&N Mattress by Tuft & Needle offers all the comfort and breathability perks at a fraction of the price.

Dimensions: Twin (75 x 39 x 10 inches), Twin XL (80 x 39 x 10 inches), Full (75 x 54 x 10 inches), Queen (80 x 60 x 10 inches), King (80 x 76 x 10 inches), and California King (84 x 72 x 10 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for back, side, and stomach sleepers


$350 from Tuft & Needle


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IMAGE: Eight Sleep

BEST FOR TEMPERATURE REGULATION

The Pod by Eight Sleep

This mattress tracks and learns your sleeping habits, then adjusts the bed’s temperature for optimal comfort.

Dimensions: Full (54 x 75 x 11 inches), Queen (60 x 80 x 11 inches), King (76 x 80 x 11 inches), and Cali fornix King (72 x 84 x 11 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for people who get either too hot or too cold while they sleep


$1,995 from Eight Sleep


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IMAGE: Nectar

BEST FOR COMFORT

The Nectar Mattress

Dimensions: Twin (39 x 75 x 11 inches), Twin XL (39 x 80 x 11 inches), Full (54 x 75 x 11 inches), Queen (60 x 80 x 11 inches), King (76 x 80 x 11 inches), and California King (72 x 84 x 11 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for back, side, and stomach sleepers


$594 from Nectar


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IMAGE: Leesa

BEST FOR BODY SUPPORT

Leesa Mattress

Dimensions: Twin (39 x 75 x 10 inches), Twin XL (39 x 80 x 10 inches), Full (53 x 75 x 10 inches), Queen (60 x 80 x 10 inches), King (76 x 80 x 10 inches), and California King (72 x 84 x 10 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for back, side, and stomach sleepers


$595 from Leesa


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IMAGE: Saatva

BEST FOR DIFFERENT SLEEP POSITIONS

Saatva Luxury Firm Mattress

Dimensions: Twin (38 x 75 inches), Twin XL (38 x 80 inches), Full (54 x 75 inches), Queen (60 x 80 inches), King (76 x 80 inches) and California King (72 x 84 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for back, side, and stomach sleepers


$599 from Saatva


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IMAGE: Avocado Green Mattress

BEST FOR SUSTAINABILITY

Avocado Green Mattress

Dimensions: Twin (74 x 38 x 11 inches), Twin XL (80 x 38 x 11 inches) Full (74 x 54 x 11 inches), Queen (80 x 60 x 11 inches), King (80 x 76 x 11 inches), and California King (84 x 72 x 11 inches)

Sleep Factor: Great for back and stomach sleepers


$959 from Avocado Green Mattress


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IMAGE: Purple

BEST FOR ADAPTIVITY

The Purple Mattress

Extremely comfortable and can adapt to almost any body shape, plus the customer support team will always have your back.

Dimensions: Twin XL (38 x 80 x 12 inches), Full (54 x 76 x 12 inches), Queen (60 x 80 x 12 inches), King (76 x 80 x 12 inches), and California King (72 x 84 x 12 inches)

Sleep factor: Good for every kind of sleeper


$1,299 from Purple

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Parenting

The case for a special Democratic climate debate | Kate Aronoff

Housing, immigration, health – there’s no policy area that won’t be touched by the climate crisis. The Democratic candidates should embrace the challenge

Twenty candidates – ten candidates per night – will take the stage during this week’s two-part Democratic primary debates. Each debate will last two hours, and, excluding introductions and interruptions, each candidate will have roughly 12 minutes of total speaking time. How much of that can we reasonably expect to be devoted to the climate crisis?

If past debates are any indication, not much. There were no direct questions about climate change posed in either the 2012 or 2016 debates. In refusing grassroots calls for a debate focused on climate change, Democratic National Committee chairman Tom Perez has promised this time would be different. In a Medium post composed after backlash to his decision, Perez wrote that he considers climate a top issue, and “made clear to our media partners that the issue of climate change must be featured prominently in our debates”. Given that network news spent more time covering the Royal Baby in one week than they’d spent in a year on climate change, that’s not exactly a convincing sell. If the DNC really did care about climate as much as Perez claims, it’d see the debate stage as a chance to offer a valuable counter-weight to the relative silence across television news about the climate crisis.

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Read more: theguardian.com

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Parenting

How Can I Get My Kids to do Chores (in a Peaceful Parenting Way)?


How Can I Get My Kids to do Chores (in a Peaceful Parenting Way)

The Parenting Junkie shows us how to get kids to do chores in a peaceful parenting way. In this video you’ll see how I get my kids to do chores without bribing or punishing. Kids chores are important and it helps them feel like contributing members of the family. It is important that the chores for kids you choose be age appropriate. In order to get your child to do chores you need to work with them. By the end of this video you’ll know how to get kids to help with chores as well as some age appropriate chores for kids to do. If you’ve ever wondered how I get my child to help with chores checkout this video.

#1 Start them young [1:38]
#2 Find helpful things your child can do [4:26]
#3 Work as a team [6:03]
#4 Do NOT praise or reward help [8:26]
#5 Be appreciative [13:00]
#6 Don’t force it [13:47]

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► How We Apply Montessori at Home (https://youtu.be/fb70CKrQz6Y)
► Schemas in Early Childhood (https://youtu.be/hHzSj0eMbwM)
► Handling Tantrums with Dr. Laura Markham (https://youtu.be/mQrqRaNIA5g)
► How to Be Mindful in the Moment (https://youtu.be/WdgriG4WlPM)

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Parenting

Induced lactation: why a woman doesn’t need to bear a child in order to breastfeed it

A viral photograph of a couple breastfeeding their twin babies has highlighted the process that allows a woman to nurse a child she has not carried. So how does it work?

A photograph of Jaclyn and Kelly Pfeiffer breastfeeding their twin babies has gone viral, highlighting the fact that it is possible to nurse a baby you haven’t given birth to. Jaclyn didn’t carry the babies but has been able to breastfeed them thanks to a process known as induced lactation. It tends to be used by same-sex couples, as well as adoptive parents and women whose babies were carried by a surrogate.

The outcome can be variable, depending on the situation and what the goal is, says Helen Gray, from Lactation Consultants of Great Britain, an organisation that describes itself as the professional voice of breastfeeding. “They might want to try to bring in a full breast-milk supply and provide all of the baby’s milk, or, if they are co-parenting in a same sex relationship, they may be hoping that each mother will provide enough so they can share the breastfeeding.” Or they may want to provide a small amount to top up bottle feeds.

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Read more: theguardian.com

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