Parents Of Rebellious Teenage Boys

Parenting Troubled Teenage Boys

Finding the help that you need for a troubled teenage boys can be very challenging.

It takes a lot of understanding and knowledge so that you an help your son by getting him the help that he needs.

It can be a real challenge to admit when your teenage son has a problem with something.

You might notice that he is withdrawn and depressed, involved in criminal behavior, or just being overly reckless.

These things can lead to more serious problems in adulthood if they are not dealt with during your son’s teenage years.

Understanding What Behaviors are Normal

Of course before you can determine if you have a troubled teenage son you have to understand what normal teenage behaviors are.

Many times parents do not realize that a behavior change is normal and start to think that their son has a problem that he does not have.

If this happens it can have an opposite effect on the teen and can cause him to turn to inappropriate behaviors that he feels he is already being accused of.

A Look at Teenage Behaviors

It is important that you understand which actions are normal and which ones are a red flag that there is something more going on with your teenager.

Mood Swings

All teens are going to have mood swings because of the hormonal changes that are happening in their life.

Parenting Teenagers: Boys

Your son might have a hard time being able to manage their emotions and could be irritable.

If your teen is constantly sad, has a significant change in his grades, begins having difficulty sleeping, is depressed, suffers from anxiety, or has a major change in their personality than you will want to get them help with how to handle these emotions and feelings.

Changing How They Look

It is normal for your son to want to have a trendy appearance and to have a desire to fit in.

However if you notice an extreme change in weight (gain or loss), evidence of self harm/cutting, problems at school, or negative impact on their life that is accompanying their change in appearance you will want to talk to them to see what else is going on.

Teenage Boys: Alcohol/Drug Use

While all parents want their teenage son to refrain from drinking or using drugs this is not really practical in today’s society.

Most teens have drank or used drugs before they complete high school.

A little experimentation is completely normal.

Signs that there could be a problem include an inability to function without drugs or alcohol, criminal behavior to support their habit, or having social problems that they did not have before.

Teenage Boys: Arguing and Acting Out

You are going to fight with your teenage son.

If you hear someone say that they never fight with their teenage son, you can assume that they are lying to you because this is not normal.

Teens are beginning to get a taste for their independence which means that they are not always going to agree with you. It does not become a problem until they are skipping school, having legal issues, becoming violent or aggressive, or getting into fights.

Teenage Boys: Friends are the Main Influence

It is also common for you to lose your place as the influence of your child’s behavior when they are a teenager.

Teenage Boys:

This is especially true for teenage sons.

Your teenage aged boy is going to withdrawal from you and your relationship will change normally when they are seeking to find approval from their peers.

If your child is willing to do negative things to fit in with a new group of friends, is getting into trouble, or is starting to have trouble in school you should be concerned.

Understanding what is normal behavior for your teen can help you to determine if your son has a problem and if you need some additional help for these challenges.


Even at a young age,  Rivers was always acting out in school  and getting in trouble.

He flooded his art class  by plugging up the sink  and one time  he cut a kids backpack open and all the books came out.

He drew a racist cartoon, sent to the office  and got suspended.

He was always a bully. Rivers has always been defiant and even then, Angie and Hunter  wouldn’t discipline him.

He behaves this way with you two for a couple of reasons.

One, you trigger it. And number two, he knows it works.

He can get away, he can grab your wrist and twist , wrestle your phone out  of your hand,  call you a bitch and slam the door and he knows there’s not one consequence  gonna come form it, true?


He doesn’t go to school and he gets  to play video games all day.

We agree, but we feel like,  having the cops come  and put him in the back of the cop car  and get him to school  and he wouldn’t to school  so we put him in a psychiatric hospital and we’ve had him on medication and counseling.

Is it just me?

No, Rivers controls them with, when they would call the police to come get him to take him to school  Rivers figured out  real quick that if he started using the catch phrase, “I’ll run away,” well then the phone calls to the police stopped.

Now he realizes “I’ll run away” doesn’t, you know,  he is up to “I’ll kill myself.”

And so he knows to up  the ante– He’s elevated  the threat.

To threaten them to maintain control.

I don’t know that it’s appropriate to fight  the war against the war against mental illness with the same quiver of arrows that you do  a normal child.

I think there’s certainly behavioral dysfunction  but I don’t know that there’s mental illness here.

All signs point to no  from my stand point, but I don’t that– I’m happy to know that.

I haven’t diagnosed him yet.

But I see no indication whatsoever  of mental illness here.

What I see here is a spoiled brat kid who gets rewarded for bad behavior,  that’s what I know.

Now there may be mental  illness on top of that, (audience applauding)  there may be mental illness on top of that  and that has yet to be determined, but He’s had psychological evaluations  at all the hospitals and they’ve all said the same things.

No matter what I’m saying  to the two of you, you’re saying yeah but.

I’m saying look he’s not going  to school and he gets to stay home and play video games.

Yeah but, I mean we call the police and they say he’s not a criminal so we just got to let him  play the video games.


I say look you’re rewarding bad behavior  when he gets away with calling  you names and twisting your wrist yeah but, I mean he’s bigger than me.

Yeah but, yeah but, yeah but,  no matter what I say you’re saying yeah but.

He calls you names.

He attacks you physically.

He’s disrespectful.

He does not perform and you’re allowing that to happen.

True or false?

True. True.

And his behavior is situation specific.

It happens when  there are folks requiring him  to do something he doesn’t want to do.


It’s either teachers or parents.

He has a very immature level of problem solving and problem recognition.

He’s very immature right now  and you’re rewarding immature behavior.

True or false.

That’s true. True.

Okay, thank you.


(audience applauding)  Now, what you should be thinking  right now is okay baldy  so what do we do instead.

Okay now he had a seizure when he was one?

He was two.

Two. Febrile seizure yeah.

Scared the bee geebers out of you?

Yes. I carried my son Jay into the operating room at four weeks old.

I carried him in.

I was on staff at the hospital and he had to have emergency surgery.

Scared me to death.

Scared his mother, she ain’t over it yet.

Yes, it was horrible.

And you can remember me carrying  him in there right this second, can you not?

Yes, he had been crying so hard to put that IV in.

He was just so tiny and when you were walking down the hall  I could see his little head,  just still crying and shaking.

I do understand and it makes you handle that child  from the beginning differently than you would handle him if that hadn’t happened.

Little differences real early on  become big differences later on.

Your job as a parent is to prepare him for the next level of life.

Yes sir.

And you’re not doing that.


And we need to start doing that..

As found on Youtube Teenage Boys:


Temper Tantrums – Conscious Discipline Skills

No matter how hard parents may try to offer a patient, caring attitude when handling toddler behavior, some children are more prone to acting out.

Temper tantrums are a staple of toddler hood and more often than not, they escalate into full-blown meltdowns.

Fortunately, there are many ways to not only avoid tantrums, but to deal with them effectively.

Knowing a few tried-and-true methods will help both parents and kids adjust accordingly when a meltdown is near.

The first step in understanding temper tantrums is why they occur in the first place.

Tantrums are common in both boys and girls between the ages of 1 and 3.

Although frustrating, meltdowns are a normal part of development.

They serve as a way of venting anger, especially since toddlers have little control over their actions and feelings.

The added difficulty of not being able to communicate makes toddlers more tantrum-prone.

Furthermore, toddlers are challenging the world around them and pushing their independence.

This creates power struggles between children and adults; another element that leads to meltdowns.

It can be difficult for toddlers to recognize that they can’t have everything their way.

Of course, it’s not realistic to give in to a child’s every desire.

Anticipate tantrums by looking for the warning signs such as whimpering, whining or tension.

When these behaviors begin to surface, take action by distracting and redirecting the toddler.

For example, if the child becomes frustrated when building with blocks, distract him or her by pointing out a new activity.

Instead of building a tower let’s say, offer to paint with the toddler.

Although these tactics don’t always offer an immediate solution, they are worth a try.

Another effective method for avoiding the onset of a tantrum is to identify with the child’s feelings.

When a toddler feels understood, he or she is less likely to act out.

Use simple words and express how the child may be feeling.

Try something like, “I see that you are mad that your block tower fell down.

Let’s try to build one together.”

Also use a calming, matter-of-fact tone that will reassure the toddler.

Sometimes, tantrums are imminent no matter how hard an adult may try.

To make matters worse, they often occur in situations where the child is over-stimulated, tired or hungry.

The first defense is to ignore the behavior. This means no eye contact, no words and no reactions.

Make sure that the child is in a safe area and if not, move him or her to an area that is, with no sharp objects or glass.

If out in public, remove the child from the situation and show that the behavior will not be tolerated.

When the toddler sees that his or her outbursts aren’t getting attention, they will soon stop or decrease.

Be sure to remain calm during the tantrum, as yelling or screaming only worsens the behavior.

Once children expand their language skills, generally around the age of 3, tantrums become a thing of the past.

Tips To Dealing With Kids’ Tantrums

Being a parent, there are several things that you will experience as you deal with growing kids.

Among the many things that you will need to deal with a growing a child are tantrums.

When your kids reach the toddler stage, throwing tantrums are only natural for them.

Although it can be annoying, there are ways in which you can deal with it to ease the stress.
As your toddler start to throw a tantrum, you may have sudden impulses on how to handle the situation.

However, most of these impulses will not yield positive results.

Here are seven ways on how to deal with tantrums from your kids:
Keep your cool at all times. Even if you’re about to explode, always keep your cool in front of your kid.

This is all a part of your child growing up experience, and is only natural.

Try to be patient, disciplined and practice self restraint.

You want to teach these positive values to your kid. If you react with anger to your kid while they’re having a tantrum, you’re only teaching them violence.

They will see violence as the right way to handle problems or other issues.

Never give in to their request.

Toddlers often throw temper tantrums when they want something, but couldn’t have it.

If you give in to their request or try to bribe them to calm down by giving what they want, you are opening the possibility of your toddler throwing more tantrums in the future.

Never give in to what they want and show them that they will not get it if they act this way.

Ignore public opinions. What if your child throws a tantrum while you’re in the mall because you won’t buy them that toy?

If this happens, most parents concern themselves about what others people may think and will try to give in to calm the child down.

However, if you really want to be a responsible parent, ignore what other people may think, most parents who have undergone the same situation will even show sympathy to your cause.
Avoid reasoning with them.

Toddlers throw tantrums in order to get your attention. When this happens, don’t try to negotiate or reason with your kid.

They won’t listen to you anyway, so it is best just to ignore the tantrums.

This will show your kids that throwing a tantrum is not the way that you communicate with another person.
Let them play it out. When you’re angry, you have a lot of steam built up inside that you will need to let out.

The same goes for your kids, if they have a tantrum, they need to have an outlet to express what they feel. Let them scream, yell and cry in another room.

However, explain to them why you are putting them in another room and that you will not support their behavior.

Let them play out what they feel in another room and leave them. Only return after the screaming, yelling and the crying have completely ceased.
Give them a hug.

Hugs can be a reassuring gesture which also shows love and comfort.

When your kids are throwing a tantrum and you want to keep them from getting hurt, give them a firm yet gentle hug.

Although kids would not want to be held down when they’re having tantrums, hugging your kid will eventually calm them down. It can assure them that you care and that you love them.

Never compromise even after the tantrum has ceased.

After the tantrum stops, don’t give them what they wanted.

Instead give them an alternative to what they wanted.

If you reward them after they have stopped with the thing they wanted, this can create confusion in your kid.

They may think that they can still get what they want, even if took longer.


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Today we’re going to talk about temper tantrums.

Now there’s a number of reasons children have temper tantrums:

First, they’re very developmentally normal for children up to three years of age.

And young children at that time, they’re going to have a temper tantrum from an urgent need that is not met or when they’re tired, hungry bored, or frustrated.

Older children over the age of three have temper tantrums for different reasons.

Generally they have them because they have been given into, they’ve had a tantrum earlier in their life and it’s worked for them so they continued that skill as a strategy of getting their way.

They have one for unrealistic expectations of parents, inappropriate discipline that’s a little bit too punitive or too permissive and also when they are fatigued they will do that, and the last one is when they’ve had too much stress in their life.

Those of you who have had children, maybe one or more children, you might say,

“Well how come one child has more temper tantrums than another?”

Well this is based on a number of things:

First, it is based on the temperament of the child. Some kids are just born easy temperament, they’re easy to regulate, they go to sleep well, they eat well, they’re just very easy children.

Other children are born with a very difficult temperament, it’s hard to soothe them, they’re finicky eaters, they’re finicky sleepers, when they get upset they can’t calm as easily as other children, and the last one again a stressors. Inconsistent routines, inappropriate discipline, unrealistic expectations, divorce, child-care, death in the family, depression.

All these things will affect the amount, number and intensity of tantrums that children will have. So how best can we respond to temper tantrums? The first thing I want you to hear and I want you to hear it very, very clearly is there’s no right way to do it.

Different things will be appropriate for different children.

But in general, these are some strategies that will be helpful:

The first thing to understand is temper tantrums are a non-verbal communication.

We all recognize them.

The face is red, they’re wailing, the arms are going, they’re holding their breath, they’re screaming.

We recognize a temper tantrum.

So what are they trying to say?

Generally they’re going to say “I’m overwhelmed.

I can’t handle this.”

The second one is “I’m trying a strategy that worked last time and I’m wondering if it’s gonna work this time ’cause you gave in last time so all I got to do is scream and shout, long enough, hard enough, and ultimately I’m going to get what I want.”

So one its developmental I’m overwhelmed, and two you’ve taught the child to have these tantrums.

Child tantrum

So we respond to these almost in similar ways:

The first thing to do is to unhook ourselves.

So again we’re going to be a S.T.A.R., we’re not going to get triggered, we’re going to take a deep breath and we’re going to calm ourselves.

Sometimes just calming ourselves puts some calming energy around the child.

The second thing we’re going to do is it we’re going to offer empathy and we’re going to start with the body.

Your arms are going like this, your face is like this, your body’s telling me I feel so frustrated.

So I’m going to say those words again so you can get them:

Your arms are going like this, your face is all scrunched up, your body is telling me I really wanted to watch this or I am so tired, whatever your best guess is.

And from that situation then, you’re going to actually just leave the child alone if that seems what would be best for them or you going to pick the child up, put them to your body and say nothing but breathe at first and then you’re going to say

“You’re safe, you can handle this, I’ve got you.

You’re safe, you can handle this, I’ve got you.” Once the temper tantrum is over, whatever the original trigger was, the child does not get out of anything.

If they threw a fit about taking their fork to the sink, once the temper tantrum is over, give them a choice, “You can carry the fork over in this hand or you can carry the fork in this hand to the sink.

Which is best with you?”

If it was about wearing blue pants as opposed to green pants, once it’s over there gonna put the green pants on, just give them a choice,

“Do you want to put them on when sitting on the floor, or would it be easier to stand up and put your pants on?”

The temper tantrum does not allow a child to get out doing something.

So why not just let the child flop around on the floor like a fish outta water and ignore quote the bad behavior?

We want to offer empathy, we want to offer breathing because it’s gonna help the child learn how to get from the lower centers of their brain to the higher centers of their brain and we’re providing that methodology, and internalize it in the child that they can use the rest of their life.

So here’s your homework:

When you see a child in a grocery store and it’s not even yours, here’s what you can practice, just breathe and wish that child well in that family.

Put some calmness into the energy as opposed to “What the heck are they doing?” Add your calmness to the situation.

If it’s your own child, unhook, do not take it personally, take some breath add some calmness to the chaos with your own energetic being.

Say to the child, “Oh, your hands, your feet are going like this, your face looks like this, your body’s telling me this was just, I’m just so tired and so hungry.”

And then depending on the temperament of the child you’re either going to leave them alone, give them some space, or you’re going to scoop them up and put them on your chest, relax and say,

“You’re safe, you’re safe, I’ve got you, you can handle this.”

And then once the temper tantrum is over they’re gonna go back and complete the task that triggered them to begin with.

Until next time I wish you well..

As found on Youtube

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